I'd rather be skinny & dumb...

I am NOT saying that I am fat and dumb nor am I saying that I would rather be skinny & dumb rather than fat (or pleasantly plump) and intelligent. I am merely saying if I am dumb I'd rather be skinny & dumb than fat and dumb...

Let me back track a little. The other day while I was driving to work I was trying to think of the "whys" to my weight issue and a past contestant on the Biggest Loser came to mind. I cannot remember her name or even what season she was on (although I can picture her face perfectly) but I think that her reason and my reason may be one and the same.

She said she was fat because she was scared people wouldn't love her for her and that when people left her she could blame it on being fat not on her personality or that they just didn't love her. Now I don't have a fear of ever being left, I have a good support group, a great family and wonderful friends and a wonderful hubby who loves me even when I am nearly 100 lbs over weight. BUT I do feel inadequate in other areas...Job interviews for example. If I don't get the job it's because I am over weight NOT because I was "dumb" or not qualified. When Someone doesn't like me it's because I am fat not because I am obnoxious! When I don't live up to my own expectations it's because I am fat instead of not motivated.

So in essence what I mean by I'd rather be Skinny & Dumb is that if I don't get the job I'd rather be a under qualified skinny person who didn't get the job rather than an under qualified fat person who didn't get the job. If that new person I just met doesn't like me because I am obnoxious I'd rather be skinny & obnoxious than fat & obnoxious AND lastly I'd rather be a skinny person that disappoints myself than a fat person who disappoints myself. Make sense?

DISCLAIMER: I am not by any means questioning my intelligence nor saying that skinny people are dumb.

Today was another successful day. Each day that I stick with Weight Watchers I am more and more confident that I can do this! Each day that I go to bed and I know that I had a good day makes the next day that much easier. I am tempted to weigh myself after only 4 days in BUT I know that it can become an obsession so I have to force myself to only do it once a week. But I am positive that the weight is coming off even if it is too soon to tell.

{A significantly thinner & happier version of myself}