Insignifigant

I find reading other peoples blogs inspiring most days. I enjoy reading about peoples lives especially those who I haven't seen or talked to in years. I love to know what their lives are like, what their families are like. I sometimes feel like a bit of a blogger stalker. Tonight I found myself reading blogs of people whom I have never met but whose blogs were linked on old friends/acquaintances blogs. I found myself intrigued with the adventures that these people were having, the things these people were accomplishing and the statements these people were making, the lives these people were changing and I felt so insignificant. While these people are changing their lives and others I get up and work my 8 hour day, come home and eat dinner, tidy up my home and go to sleep, just to wake up and do it all over again. Weekends are reserved for catching up on all the mundane things that I haven't had a chance to do because I am too tired during the week ie: grocery shopping, paying bills, cleaning & preparing for baby. I don't have anything that I am passionate about (besides my hubby & my baby on the way). I don't have any fantastic talents or hobbies. I don't play any sports. I don't have the time or energy for brilliant girls nights out (and I know that most of my gf's don't right now either). My life has become so routine, when did I turn OLD! Don't get me wrong I LOVE LOVE LOVE my husband and I am so excited about my baby on the way, but I feel like I have lost a small piece of myself, I have lost a little bit of passion for life that I used to possess. Is it because I am pregnant and so tired? Or have I really lost a piece of myself?

I often hear of mom's who feel like that is their whole identity, I don't want that! I want to be the best mom I can be while also remembering who I am...But before I can do that I need to remember who I am and what I am passionate about.

1).Organic/Natural foods & Products
2).Writing poetry, drawing & being creative (I am severely lacking in this area)
3).Ethnic Food
4).Swimming
5).Learning
6).Photography
7).Being organized
8).Friendship
9).Music
10).hiking

Those are things that I love, but I REALLY want to find a charity/organization/cause that really tugs at my heartstrings and I want to make a difference.

Since I have met Duane I have gained a signifigant amount of weight, God Bless my hubby for still loving me. As soon as this baby comes and I have given myself enough time to recover from the whole birthing thing I am going to get back into shape. I am going to be more charitable & more environmentaly friendly. I have made a few steps already, by switching to natural cleainf products and chlorine free diapers (which are better for the babies health and decompose much part because of all the media attention). The question is can I accomplish as much as I hope to while I am on maternity leave, or am I living in a dream world. I want my little baby boy to grow up to be compassionate, caring, and a generally great human being, this means that I need to be a better person role model...Something I really hope that I can accomplish in my first year of being a parent.


Does anyone else feel like this?

3 months & 9 days to go (approximately)

I am getting so anxious for our new little baby BOY to arrive and I still have 99 days to go! We have chosen a name for our little man Devon Lyle Brolund. And believe me it was not an easy decision! Duane and I have very different ideas about the kid of names we liked. Luckily we are both very content with Devon!

I feel a little over whelmed with life in general right now. Being pregnant is not what I had expected. I am constantly exhausted, my skin is awful, by body aches and I feel like I cannot accomplish anything after a LONG day at work. I remember not to long ago not understanding why a close friend of mine never seemed to be able to make time for me when she was expecting and now I am experiencing the same pressures from my friends who do not understand the difficulties of growing a baby. Although I have more energy on weekends, I find that I have to utilize much of that time preparing for Devon and/or running the errands that were neglected during the week.

I have a "To Do" list a mile long and it feels like I am adding to the list at a much faster rate then I am crossing finished items off. Once my "To Do" list is completed I will feel much more ready for baby. I just want everything to be perfect for our little bundle of joy! As I write Duane is finishing up the laminate flooring (what? It's only been what 2 months :)) in the nursery and once he is done in there I am going to wash the floors...and than I get to start decorating. So much FUN! This is the item on my list I have been waiting to do. My mom found us some gorgeous solid wood furniture at a garage sale, and we are going to sand and refinish it next weekend. My Dad has graciously offered to buy the crib, mattress & bedding (classic pooh)! Than we will just have to get some finishing touches. I CANNOT wait for it to be done. I have so many cute clothes that are washed and ready to be put in the dresser but are currently hanging out in rubbermaid bins. All I need now is to find some baskets for the book shelf! I LOVE to be organized what can I say!

Because I am "overweight", I am considered a high risk pregnancy so I have to see some specialist (an obstetrician & a Dr. that specializes in epiderals), I also get to have an ultra sound every month, Devon seems to hate them and doesn't cooperate very well, I guess he is facin gmy spine and makes it very difficult to get the measurements and photos they need. He is already stubborn like his Daddy and he's not even born yet! We actually had to go to UC Baby to find out the sex b/c he wasn't cooperating. Luckily they were able to tell (since we paid for that one out of our own pockets SO worth it though). Check it out http://www.ucbaby.ca/ it was a fantastic experience. They couldn't get a clear image of our babies face so we are going back for a free 10 minute session on May 6th! I will definately do it again if we have more children!

Can you tell I am a first timer? All I talk about is our baby and/or being preggers.