Life with the Internet

The internet. It feels like it's been around for my entire lifetime. But using social media it is now a daily staple in staying "connected" and I have a love/hate relationship quite like no other!

I am thankful that Social media has allowed me to reconnect with old friends, stay connected with friends and family in different areas around the world, make new business connections and some new personal connections as well!

But we are living in a society where our virtual life is quickly over taking real life!  Our Social media lives are "edited".  Each photo selected to portray us is scrutinized to make sure we look our best, we post photos of our "perfect" children.  We boast about our triumphs and our wins!  Sure there is the occasional "train wreck" who posts every single pathetic detail (and you just can't look away right?), the occasional heart wrenching personal story when we need to pull together and support someone but our daily virtual lives are far from raw and far from real!

When I was a little girl I remember my mom talking on the phone for what seemed liked hours!  She would talk to her mom, her sister, her friends and the neighbours.  I remember the "not right now, I'm on the phone" if I interrupted her (and the JESSICA, I'm on the phone shhhhhht" that often followed when I interrupted her subsequent times!  My children aren't even sure how to act if I'm on the phone, my call display only consists of the dentist and our parents (call display that's another topic), this mom doesn't chat on the phone.  I send my friends a quick text for their birthdays, an email invite for parties, a Facebook message if I want to chat but rarely does anything warrant the now elusive phone call!  In fact the other day, I was met with a "You still have a home phone?  Why?"

There is NOTHING raw and real about social media, nothing raw and real about a text message!  Some days are hard and some days are dark, we've all been there!  On these dark days we hide behind the screen, pretending that we are fine when we should be releasing our inner beast with a trusted friend!  Instead we answer the tone less text messages and emails and no one knows we could really use a hug!  In the day and age where we have 100's of "friends" our generation is the loneliest generation yet!  People know so much information about us but no one really knows us!

We peruse our friends profiles, and we think we are "connected" with them and their family!  We watch their children grow and we "like" their status' when we hear of all their accomplishments!  We have 426 "friends", we have 92 people wish us happy birthday, yet we are a lonely and disconnected society!  

We are so busy comparing ourselves to these carefully edited social media accounts with these perfect moms who have seemingly perfect husbands, a perfect (and clean) home, and always delicious meals (don't tell me you haven't noticed) and Pinterestesque birthday parties that we could never pull off, that we forget to just be happy with the simple things in life!  We forget to actually live our lives outside of the internet!  We forget to explore the world (while we browse the internet for photos of foreign lands and add it to the list of places we'd like to visit but never will)! 

I am sad for my kids that the internet has even brought bullying to a whole new level!  When we were kids and someone was teasing us (because that's what bullying was called back then) we could escape the mean kid everyday after school!  We went home, played outdoors, played with the neighborhood kids, read books, and built forts!  NOW cyber bullying ensures that no place is safe, Facebook hate groups, group texting, and other avenues this old lady probably doesn't even know about makes bullying follow kids around day and night!

 I am often tempted to hit the delete button on my Facebook account, but it does serve a purpose!  so for now I am concentrating on living a real and raw existence in REAL LIFE!  Experiencing as much human interaction and soaking up as much real life as I can!  I hope you will join me in putting down your phones and making some real contact today!

SAHM - Stretching your money

As a stay at home mom part of my job (besides caring for my boys) is to make my husbands pay check stretch as far as possible!

I have 2 boys (4 and 6) and I like them to have nice (and clean) clothes!  We are a single family home but we aren't bums!  

There are a few items I splurge on each year and think it's worth spending money on!  I think good quality shoes are a MUST!  Good winter boots are important and so is a good warm winter jacket!  I  am lucky as I have 2 boys and can often get 2 years for each boy out of a good quality winter jacket!  but here is how I save money on the other items that my boys always seem to need!

BUY OFF SEASON:  buy next summers wardrobe at the end of summer!  Clearance prices are usually 75% off in August, and if you can guess what size they will be in the following summer that is huge savings!  The same goes for winter, last year in January I bought my 3 year old this winters jacket for $15 (regularly $89.99)!  

BUY SECOND HAND: I don't go to places like Value Village or the Salvation Army often for several reasons 1) the smell really bothers me and I find it hard to find GOOD QUALITY clothing that my sons (or I) will like!  BUT there are some great alternatives when shopping for second hand items!  Check on Facebook for local bidding sites or kids swap sites!  I have purchased books, clothing and toys for the boys off these sites and have found some amazing deals!  A few words of wisdom when using these sites, ALWAYS check the item before you accept it!  Not everyone is honest and if you are picky like me and want them to be in good condition CHECK!  I have purchase $80 boots NEW WITH TAG for $10!  

SIGN UP FOR STORE EMAILS:  they will send you sales and coupon codes!  Old Navy has their $10 denim sale 2 times a year!  I delete the emails UNLESS the kids need something because buying things just because they are on sale DOES NOT save you money!

BUY PAJAMAS A SIZE (OR 2) TOO BIG: I always buy pjs for my oldest a size too big and he can wear them 2 years and then unless they have holes they can be passed down to his brother for 2 years!  Because in reality who cares if your pajamas are a little too big!  I do the same with winter jackets but ONLY a size so they don't look sloppy!

START CHRISTMAS SHOPPING EARLY: I budget for Christmas starting in August and allot a certain amount per pay check towards gifts and I spend time searching the internet to find the cheapest price and often wait it out for things I KNOW will go on sale!  We also don't exchange gifts with anyone outside of family, and with other families that we are close with suggest a holiday activity instead of gifts! (Ice skating, Christmas craft play date, Christmas train, etc)!  So we get to celebrate without gifts! This year we will also be following the "Something you want, Something you need, Something you wear and something you read" mentality adding in a "and something homemade just for me".  You don't need to go overboard at Christmas with gifts, instead use the time to build family traditions and make memories for your kids.

ASK FOR ACTIVITIES INSTEAD OF BIRTHDAY GIFTS:  while I realize you can't just come out and tell everyone who buys your children gifts what to buy, there are certain people that you can!  We ask our parents to pay for things like a family pass for the local zoo or aquarium, family pool passes, skating lessons, swimming lessons, etc!  This gives allows us to always have free things to do and keeps the unwanted clutter of extra toys out of our small home!

BUY IN BULK:  We purchase ONLY the items that we USE/EAT ALOT in bulk!  Buying in bulk will not save you money if 75% of the food expires/rots or the product sits in your storage room for 10 years and ends up at a garage sale or in the garbage!  We shop at Costco and purchase the executive membership and our refund each year often pays for our  membership!  Deep Freezes are a great way to store bread and meat (label when it went in the freezer and use the oldest up first to avoid freezer burn)

BUY STORE BRANDS: Did you know that most store brands are manufactured by the same companies that manufacture name brand food items?  Most items are so similar (except in price) that you won't notice the difference and some items may even be better!  Drop the brand loyalty and price out your items to get the biggest bang for your buck!  Try an item and if you don't like it you don't have to keep buying it!  We have a few items that the name brand is worth the extra cost for us but most of the time we will buy what's on sale or a store brand!

RE-PURPOSE AND RE-USE:  This is a new one for me!  I have recently begun find second hand solid wood furniture for next to nothing (its garage sale season, hit the high end neighborhoods and you can score some amazing finds) and I will be re-purposing/re-finishing the pieces to suit our taste and needs!  I may even have found a couple treasures in my mom's garage!  (Blog post will be coming up when the kids are out of school and I start my projects).

DISTINGUISH BETWEEN WANTS AND NEEDS: In a society where we love instant gratification it is hard to make the distinction between wants and needs but once you can program your brain to stop "Keeping up with the Jone's" you will see that wants and needs are VERY different!  I am not saying NEVER splurge but if you don't have the money STEP AWAY FROM THE WANTS!  Remember that a HUGE percent of North Americans have a large amount of debt to have these wants, its just not worth it!