Insignifigant

I find reading other peoples blogs inspiring most days. I enjoy reading about peoples lives especially those who I haven't seen or talked to in years. I love to know what their lives are like, what their families are like. I sometimes feel like a bit of a blogger stalker. Tonight I found myself reading blogs of people whom I have never met but whose blogs were linked on old friends/acquaintances blogs. I found myself intrigued with the adventures that these people were having, the things these people were accomplishing and the statements these people were making, the lives these people were changing and I felt so insignificant. While these people are changing their lives and others I get up and work my 8 hour day, come home and eat dinner, tidy up my home and go to sleep, just to wake up and do it all over again. Weekends are reserved for catching up on all the mundane things that I haven't had a chance to do because I am too tired during the week ie: grocery shopping, paying bills, cleaning & preparing for baby. I don't have anything that I am passionate about (besides my hubby & my baby on the way). I don't have any fantastic talents or hobbies. I don't play any sports. I don't have the time or energy for brilliant girls nights out (and I know that most of my gf's don't right now either). My life has become so routine, when did I turn OLD! Don't get me wrong I LOVE LOVE LOVE my husband and I am so excited about my baby on the way, but I feel like I have lost a small piece of myself, I have lost a little bit of passion for life that I used to possess. Is it because I am pregnant and so tired? Or have I really lost a piece of myself?

I often hear of mom's who feel like that is their whole identity, I don't want that! I want to be the best mom I can be while also remembering who I am...But before I can do that I need to remember who I am and what I am passionate about.

1).Organic/Natural foods & Products
2).Writing poetry, drawing & being creative (I am severely lacking in this area)
3).Ethnic Food
4).Swimming
5).Learning
6).Photography
7).Being organized
8).Friendship
9).Music
10).hiking

Those are things that I love, but I REALLY want to find a charity/organization/cause that really tugs at my heartstrings and I want to make a difference.

Since I have met Duane I have gained a signifigant amount of weight, God Bless my hubby for still loving me. As soon as this baby comes and I have given myself enough time to recover from the whole birthing thing I am going to get back into shape. I am going to be more charitable & more environmentaly friendly. I have made a few steps already, by switching to natural cleainf products and chlorine free diapers (which are better for the babies health and decompose much part because of all the media attention). The question is can I accomplish as much as I hope to while I am on maternity leave, or am I living in a dream world. I want my little baby boy to grow up to be compassionate, caring, and a generally great human being, this means that I need to be a better person role model...Something I really hope that I can accomplish in my first year of being a parent.


Does anyone else feel like this?