Frustration!

Yesterday morning I went for an ultrasound appointment at around 11:30, I had a NST (Non Stress Test) booked at the mat ward for 3:00 and a mat clinic check up at 3:40 so I decided to go home eat some lunch and relax a little before I headed back to the hospital for these appointments. The tech at the ultrasound clinic told me that everything looked normal and that the baby was an estimated weight of 8lbs 10ozs.

At the non stress test it was noted that I had a considerable weight gain over the last week (considering I have only been gaining NOTHING) but everything else looked normal. I than proceeded to go to my regular appointment with my maternity clinic Dr. and had to wait an hour for her and her medical student to make there way to me. Dr. Stevenson than proceeded to tell me that it looked like the baby should make an appearance tonight or tomorrow am (today) as my amniotic fluid was measuring low and at 37 weeks and 3 days the baby is considered full term and fully developed. She wanted to induce me. Duane was at work and my nerves were shot. She measured my cervix (1.5 cm dilated) and sat me in a room at the maternity ward where I waited to see an Obstetrician for 5 hours ALONE!!! The Obstetrician decided that she didn't trust the techs at the ultrasound clinic and that my fluid may not be low after all. Despite the risks she wants to get me in to see the ultrasound "specialist" at either Surrey Memorial, Royal Columbian or Womens today to determine whether my fluid is actually low or not and determine a more accurate weight of the baby so she can get a plan of action together. The frustrating part...I feel that if my fluid is low she is placing my baby at risk and there was an ultrasound machine in the room I was in, couldn't she have just checked it out herself? So now we are waiting to hear from the maternity clinic this morning about an appointment with the ultrasound "specialist" and I was told that there would be a plan in action by Friday (here's to hoping sooner). Apparently my cervix isn't "ripe" and my pelvis is small (she discovered this by ramming her whole arm up my vagina...and exclaiming "oops I made you bleed") so she is a little apprehensive about inducing me but also has reservations about a scheduled c-section. There are also reservations about me waiting full term...SO I guess there are reservations/apprehensions about me having a baby at all. Dear God, what have I got myself into?

I am frustrated that I had to wait 6 hours in the hospital to be told go home! I am frustrated that I now get to play the waiting game at home for appointments and a possible induction (or c-section, or nothing). I am frustated with the Obstretritian b/c I am not sure if I agree with her decision, I am frustrated that MY obstretitian wasn't the one who made the final call, as I have a relationship with him and would have been more apt to trust his decision compared to some woman I have never met and "oops made me bleed". If my baby is in danger I want him out and in our arms NOW I do not want to wait to see if he may be okay b/c what if he isn't than what? I guess all we can do is wait!