R.I.P Marcia Steele

I'm not sure how to mourn the loss of such an integral part of my childhood!  Marcia Louise Steele was my first friend in life, she became my friend when I was less than 6 weeks old!  It's a silly memory but I remember fighting about who was older when we were 5 or 6 and hadn't quite gotten March and April sorted out in our heads yet!  She insisted she was older and I insisted I was older!  I may have been correct literally BUT Marcia was an old soul even then!  She was my friend because our mom's were friends, but in reality I would have chose her!  She was NEVER boring, always full of creative ideas (mostly how to meet boys), and she was the most loyal friend!

It wasn't until we were 14 and went to Disneyland together that I realized that my childhood friend was an old soul but also a tortured soul!  We made memories that trip that no one would truly believe if my mom hadn't been along to back up our stories!  Earthquake aftershocks, flash floods, ant infestation in our hotel room, a cab driver who took off while Marcia was half in/half out, cockroaches in the pool and Edward Furlong on Space Mountain with us!  I am so thankful that when I was told to choose a friend to come with me on that holiday I chose her because now all I have is memories!

Marcia and I chose different paths in life, she was a wild teenager while I was a little quieter!  She struggled with many demons which aren't my story to share, while I struggled only with normal teenage angst! She lost her mom to Cancer while my mom survived, she lost her brother to mental illness while my family remained in tact!  I married a wonderful man had 2 wonderful boys and she lived downtown single and flirty! But we have always remained in touch, always remained friends!

My last visit with Marcia seems forever ago, and in 33 years that we have know each other we have never said "I Love You" but for some reason she embraced me and said "I Love You" before she left!  My last words to my life long friend were "I Love You too"!

I remember when my mom got the call and she whispered "Marcia's gone" and I was thinking "where'd she go?", then is sunk in, she was GONE!  I was never going to hear that laugh again, or get a random text from her just to make me smile!  She fought her mental illness, she made it through so many tragedies, but it won and now she is gone!

R.I.P my beautiful friend!  I miss you each and every day!  Devon looks at your photo sometimes and says "Your friend Marcia went to Heaven mommy, but don't be sad because she is in your heart"!  My 4 year old can be so profound!  You are in my heart!  You are part of who I am!  As you sister says I have embraced my "Marcianess"!